In Chicago we have a saying: cuffing season is upon us.
Now cuffing season is that special time of year when the winter comes, when that first bitter breeze freezes any sign of life and moisture, when our scarves and layers start to wrap and insulate all visible bareness, and most importantly, when we start to search for that special someone to keep us warm … at least until the summer.
This is a list for people that hate cold feet but love warm hugs and hot soup when you’ve got a cold. This is the list for people previously committed and temporarily available, but looking for someone to message you good morning and goodnight. This is the list for the undecided, for the people afraid of commitment, for the ones searching for something more. Know that “cuffing season” is for all. It’s in our bones, it’s in the mind, it’s primitive, its a special and delusional time when the need to be warm has us wearing ponchos, cuddling strangers, and looking for love all over the city.
Happy Hunting to all.
1. Join a social club
The first step is the hardest. Getting out after a break-up, moving forward after being single for what seems like FOREVER, finding the motivation, the patience, the tolerance to not annihilate every person that disrespects you; the strength to get past it all and still believe, is daunting.
But if Poland has taught me anything, it’s that we can survive, we can thrive, and that time can give us the second chance to be with someone that gives us those first few days of intolerable bliss.
Allow yourself to search, to work to make a relationship better, or to just enjoy the time we’re given with the people we meet in a warm winter embrace.
So to begin the list, skip the stress, join a group, find cool people, find annoying people, just talk to people and improve, laugh, say the wrong thing, be better in good situations and be bad in situations you’ll never forget.
The point is to have fun.
The point is to learn and be better. The point is to enjoy your time BEING the person you are and no one else.
So go ahead, be the life of the party, even if only for the night.
2. What are YOUR interests?
Do you love to watch movies, read books, swim, or learn languages? Find the things that interest you and you’ll be sure to find like-minded, single, and – dare i say it – attractive people that like that too!
Finding a partner for the season, for the year, or for a lifetime doesn’t mean you have to abandon everything you love and all of the things that interest you. Be true to who you are, develop those interests, be kind and sometimes foolishly brave, and bum into a fellow movie buff on a Wednesday night at the Kinoteka Multiplex, when tickets are 15zl.
Invest in yourself and the person you are becoming and the rest will follow.
3. Where do you work?
Is meeting outside of work sound impossible? Do you love what you do? Do you dream of a career that has you seated next to the president, receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, or are you someone that’s simply looking for a fat raise at the end of the month?
Meeting at a cafe, in public, and in reach of some caffeinated motivation is what you need.
Set up your computer, your books and everything you need and take the time to look up from the screen and glance at the company you’ve chosen to keep. Is there someone reading your favorite book? Can you send a cup of coffee to the girl/guy across the cafe?
Meeting someone means getting OUT of your comfort zone, OUT of your home, and INTO a good conversation; even if it starts with something small like: does that taste good? I’ve been meaning to try the egg sandwich here but i haven’t had the chance to.
As simple as that.
4. Where’s the party?
Designed in the Oriental style and filled with scents of incense and the intrigue of an almost certain guest appearance of the sax-man, Opera is just one of the MANY clubs you can find a partner in.
If a rumored former brothel is not your scene, find a bar to share a conversation with someone you just met or have been messaging on Tinder for some time.
Dating websites, clubbing and bar-hopping get a bad rap.
Where else are people openly searching for others? Where else can you so quickly and thoroughly make a fool or a funny story out of a few drinks. Be young, blissful, and crazy enough to walk up to someone and ask for a dance. What’s great about places like these are that people expect it all, the acceptance, the rejection, and maybe a chance meeting with a friend or future partner. Someone who might even be new to the city and new to an adventure in Warsaw.
5. Fall in Love With Warsaw
Before it get’s too cold, before we freeze, before the winter fully arrives for the next few months, leave the house!
Even if you’re virtually extending the metaphorical net of love, know that dates outside the home will eventually happen. So instead of daunting it, instead of drowning in self-doubt, instead of dismissing every social event thrown your way via Facebook, meet up, friends, or strangers with flyers, get dressed and out of your pajamas and into the city.
Remember, meeting someone takes a few missed connections, awkward conversations, and a stumble once in a while, but if you think of it as taking steps towards the right person, the work you put in won’t feel so strenuous.
This is the time to practice on people you won’t invest too much time in. This is the time to make mistakes: overshare, be mysterious, find what fits your dating style and talk to people who will make you a better partner, person, and friend.